I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
