Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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