My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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