I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
