Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
