if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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