that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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