with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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