I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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