fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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