i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize