she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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