I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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