Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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