the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize