I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
