I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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