Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
