it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
