is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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