Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
