i think my mom watched the whole time
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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