i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
