I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Enjoy the penises
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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