Dual....:-)
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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