I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize