i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
