So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
