I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
