guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
