listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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