Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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