If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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