I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize