So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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