Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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