carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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