We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
