i jhust puked up my retainher.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
