It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
