u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We talked him into tasing himself.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
