Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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