I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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