I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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