I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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