i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
