You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
