oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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