she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
