The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
