I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
