Just cropdusted the office
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
