Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
