Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
