in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
