Soap is not a condiment
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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