North Korea, Best Korea!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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