yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
