how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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