Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize