plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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