then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
