i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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