You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
